Farewell, Grandfather
4 September 2016, Sunday
We called all family members and relatives to come and visit Yayi because the doctor told us that his heart could stop anytime now. Yayi slept all the way, waking up only when a new visitor arrived. He only managed to smile and give a faint wave before dozing off again. Everyone is reading prayers to him now, hoping that it will give him a smooth leave. The most memorable part of the day was when his mom, my great grandmother, managed to visit him, hug him, and hold his hands. Yayi was most awake when his mom was around. As for me, when I arrived, I sat by his side, held his hands, and rubbed his arms. He turned to me and just gave me the most genuine smile. Even when we didn’t exchange any words, I knew that he was happy to see me there, and he’s probably trying to tell me that everything will be alright.
5 September 2016, Monday
I went to work as per normal until the doctor told us that the oxygen had stopped travelling to my grandfather’s brains. He advised us to visit him again before he lost his memory. They also said he will only last a week, max. I didn’t feel too good after that. I couldn’t focus on my work because all I could think about was my grandfather on his deathbed. I took half day and went straight to the hospital. By then, he was sound asleep and never woke up. Somehow, I knew that this is goodbye, that I will never be able to see him open his eyes again, but another part of me thinks that he is just heavily drugged and this is just another phase. It’s coming to 11 PM, and some of the close relatives have left because they’ve been staying since the afternoon. We decided to stay a little bit more.
6 September 2016, Tuesday
It’s close to 12.30 AM, all of us were watching him as he takes in deep, long breaths. He hasn’t been awake or conscious since noon. His feet and hands are starting to be cold. The nurses regularly took his BP reading. It wasn’t good, it kept decreasing with time. I couldn’t recall the exact readings, but it was about 80+ at first. Then it slowly went down to 50+, followed by 40+. At that time, we knew that he was slowly slipping away. What I did not understand was, how is it possible that he was conscious and talking to us, in fact making jokes and smiling just a couple of days before, but suddenly on that day, his body just shut down.
1 AM We’re all gathered around his death bed. Somehow, you can tell that he is going away already. I think most of us focused on his mouth and breathing. It became shorter and shorter. Finally, he stopped breathing for about 3 seconds flat, then we witnessed his roh being sucked out of his body in just one swift force. 1.36 AM, Yayi has left us… We all just stood there and kept crying in each other’s embrace.
2.30 AM, all of us rushed home and prepared the house for the arrival of the body and the funeral later in the afternoon. I contacted my close relatives and friends to inform of Yayi’s passing. They brought back Yayi’s body at about 4 AM. I managed to read prayers to him in the room before more relatives started arriving. At 10 AM, they showered his body. When they bring his body out, all wrapped in kain kapan and kain pelikat, I couldn’t help but keep crying uncontrollably. I sprinkled the pacai all around his head and kissed him on his right cheek and forehead. That was probably the most difficult task of the day. I just couldn’t believe that my grandfather had been taken away so soon. I was having mixed feelings. I am happy for him as well because, finally, all his sickness and pain doesn’t matter to him anymore. You can see a little faint smile on his face. It’s like he left this world with much peace and readiness to be in the next world.
We brought his body to Masjid Ba’Alwie for sembahyang jenazah before burying him at Pusara Aman. My heart melted when I saw Janz carrying Yayi’s body. So many people came to see Yayi off. Yayi was a friendly and easygoing person. He gets along well with everybody and has never held grudges with anyone. He made friends so easily, and he always warms everyone’s hearts with his smile. We watched as they lift his body into the ground, with Cik Pee, Cik Ju, and Abang Hafiz inside the hole. It was quite difficult for me, knowing that that would be the last time I saw Yayi physically. When the hole was all covered up to the brim, we sprinkled rose water and fresh flowers all around. It was weird because his grave looked very cheery, and I don’t feel any melancholic vibes. We said our prayers for Yayi and headed home for Tahlil.
I feel like the time I had with Yayi wasn’t enough. He didn’t manage to see his granddaughter get married, not even engaged. I also didn’t manage to buy the sweatpants he had requested two weeks ago. But, I thank God for lending me this beautiful soul to me for the past twenty-six years. He has been nothing but a kind and loving grandfather. His silly jokes and antics will always be kept in my heart.
Till we meet again, Yayi…