Secondhand Anxiety
I just came back from a birthday event where all the relatives gathered. The party was okay. It was nice to say hello to everyone. It also felt rewarding to be able to show up—something I haven't done in a while. However, I left the party with a basket of mixed emotions. When I was at the party, I was a secondhand listener to all the stories, gossip and speculations. Each one made me feel various emotions at once.
Now, I am seated on my sofa with my tablet, trying to do some light reading. However, I couldn't focus. My chest feels heavy. The stories and gossip doesn't concern me or my family, so why do I feel this pressure sitting on me?
I felt greatly about everything that I heard. I felt anxious. Sad. Angry. Confused. Annoyed. Stressed. Everything that I heard was noisy in my ears. I recently quit social media to stop scrolling through people's lives so that I can focus on my own, quiet life. Has that got anything to do with all the stress I'm feeling right now? All the noise today had momentarily disturbed my serenity.
Note to self:
It shall pass. The pollution will soon dissipate into small particles that will be carried away by the air around me. The pressure is lifting off my chest after I typed this. I can feel it. I'm allowed to breathe out now.
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